


when you're lost, i will always find you again.

by ikhannnnnt



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, British Actor RPF
Genre: Ben needs you, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Smut, Fucking, Love, Smut, You need Ben, cumbersmut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 03:30:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4861349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikhannnnnt/pseuds/ikhannnnnt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>just a little tra la la i wrote last year when i was mad cray in love with BC. enjoy! <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	when you're lost, i will always find you again.

It wasn't in the absence of words so much, that you knew his world wasn't right. There had been a tension about him from the moment he returned earlier this morning and all throughout the day, you'd given him his space, knowing he would come to you in his own time. 

He was in a mood, this much was true. Dark and brooding, and maybe perhaps also a little bit lost. He tended to do that, as Ben had once confided to you, and in this moment, it was plain to see- he had momentarily lost himself and he needed time, you understood. Some time to breathe, to shrug off all the people, the places, the absolute exposure of himself to the outside world. 

He needed to retreat into his shell, needed to be alone, needed to breathe. And so, you let him. 

Hours later, with the steady fall of rain outside, an intermittent boom of thunder every now and again, and the soft waning of a Beethoven piece drifting to you from down the hall, do you sense his presence. You look up from the journal you'd been unsuccessfully trying to collect your thoughts to and find your tempest of a man staring at you. 

He has come at last, but he still lacks words, although an emotion is clear. Physically, he's distant, still several feet from where you sit on the couch. Oh, but the emotion is there, coming in currents to you through the charged silence. The brilliance of his eyes communicating everything to you and it's speaking of apologies, of longing, of love and all for you. 

"Come, darling", he beckons from the doorway. "Don't be afraid."

As you get up and go to him, you know you're not afraid. You're not afraid to be with him or love him. Not afraid of his moods. You know this as you wrap your arms around his neck and feel his warmth. You know this as Ben pulls you fully into a crushing embrace, his mouth descending in a violent way to capture your lips and crush them with his own. 

Not even out of my dress.  
And already my voice is fading.

It had felt an age since it had been this way, just you and him, yet here he was. And in that moment you began to feel fear. Fear of the way your foolish heart always stopped and started again when he looked at you, touched you, as he was doing now. How abruptly it could all end if you lost him to another or how you continuously lose him to himself, but even that, you understand, is not so much fear as it is love. 

Love is here.  
You walk with him to the bedroom. 

By the bed, it's a slow undress and every inch of exposed skin is like a new discovery for one another. A long slow kiss here as your trembling fingers unbutton his shirt, his reassuring kiss on your forehead as you have to break from his lips to concentrate on your task. The obvious admiration on his face after he unhooks your bra and casts it aside, staring at you in wonder. Then there's the creeping blush coloring your cheeks as he circles your nipples with his thumbs, his intake of breath when you grab him through his trousers, wanting them off! 

The clothes come off.

Then you're both nude and Ben's gently lowering you to the bed, his hand on your back to support the descent to the mattress. He follows you down, stopping momentarily to admire the beauty of your naked form, to which you become shy. "No Beauty, do not hide yourself", he whispers, trailing his fingertips from your lips, down your chin and between your breasts to rest against your hip, which he gently squeezes. 

Now I've got you in my space,  
I won't let go of you.

"Come here", you plead, your breath hitching as he lowers himself on you, his weight partially braced on his arms as he begins adorning your neck with love-bites between quiet murmuring words of adoration. Your hands come up to cradle his head against your chest as he starts lavishing attention on your breasts, the scrape of his teeth bringing your fingers to grip his hair more firmly. Its so damn good- the way Ben is stoking your fire. 

Soon, you're lifting your foot to caress his leg, resisting the urge to encircle his waist entirely with your limbs. He senses the restlessness in you by the way you try to lift your hips to start up a tantalizing grind on his hardening cock. As tempting as it is, as hard and ready for you as he is, Ben treks on in a teasing manner and gently imprisons your thigh against the mattress with his own to stop your movements. 

You realize it's going to be a slow death after you try to buck your hips up to his once more and he stares hard at you with a stern command to "Stop". It's obvious by this point, the pace Benedict has set and you know it's going to be somewhere between a tender lovemaking and tumultuous fuck- the most exquisite combination.

So you don't rush it. 

"All I want is you", you confess as he trails his lips down your throat, his hands molding over your curves. You feel his lips form into a smile on your skin and tilt your head back, giving him more access. 

You are completely surrounded by him, wanting to feel every part of him and be filled by him. You're bursting with love and it translates in the way you caress the side of his face: the lovely cheekbone to the jawline, the elegant neck of beauty marks, grazing the strong shoulder to rest momentarily on his beating heart before dragging it through the smattering of hair on his chest and lower still, to his stomach where you feel his muscles bunch. 

Your touch on him sends a tremor through his body as he slides a hand over your breast, cupping the weight and fullness of it in his massive grasp and releases from his mouth a very sincere "Fuck, I've missed you." 

Did you,  
did you miss me?

For a moment, neither one of you move, just stare at one another and let the heat of desire surround you. Once again, there are no words, no words to describe the insurmountable passion laid before you two. 

But then there's your name.  
Ben's saying it. 

Saying it like an incantation as he takes your face between his hands, head tilting slightly as your eyes drift shut and he kisses your lips. His mouth is intoxicating. Momentarily, you steal some breath as he tilts his head the other way, needing to deliver a kiss from this new angle. It is not a punishing kiss, but it is a violent one with teeth and tongue. The combination, like Ben himself, is an enigma and soon he's giving way to tenderness again; cradling your face as he places soft kisses to your brow, eyelids, cheeks and chin. Absolutely adoring you. 

Time to pick up the pace.

Emboldened by his arduous kiss, you cup your hand around the nape of his neck, pulling him back to you. You kiss him, nipping at his lower lip, coaxing that gorgeous mouth to open wider as you run your hands over his arms and back, marveling in the sinewy power of him, the magnificence of his male beauty- all galactic eyes and tousled hair, all corded veins and elegant musculature, all long limbed and striking features. But all these thoughts, these beautiful coherencies, mental poetic spouts about your lover abandon you as surely as his mouth finally leaves yours. 

Open your eyes. 

Your eyes open to see Ben shifting down to place a kiss to each breast before lowering further between your open legs. You sit up slightly, bracing yourself on your elbows, watching his exploration. Oh shit! Your heart trips as he settles himself, looking up to you as he places a reverent kiss between your thighs. Oh fuck! You wait, breath held, silently pleading for him to continue, but he doesn't. Instead Ben turns his face and gently starts kissing your inner thigh, raising your leg a bit to place on his shoulder, opening you further. He caresses your leg and moves his lips to the other thigh, kissing there as well. In sheer frustration you crumble back onto the mattress, the anticipation is deadening.

I don't want you,  
I NEED YOU. 

The heat of his breath lingers on your wetness, but he is unmoving and your resolve to be patient is slipping. You shut your eyes, concentrating on anchoring yourself to the sound of the rain falling outside, to this bed, this man, this inkling of sanity that you still possess, when finally, FINALLY, he strokes you in a two-fingered drag upwards, spreading your wetness before replacing his fingers with his mouth. 

With my body, I thee worship.

Ben is drinking you, worshipping you as he kisses your cunt. He flicks and sucks and goes deep with his tongue to penetrate as you begin to writhe against his mouth, losing control. He wraps his arms around your legs, hands coming up to push down on your hips, trying to steady their motion as you begin fucking his face. It's all heaven and hell and holy fuck, all trembling limbs and curling toes and frazzled nerves as you come on Ben's tongue. It's blinding light, it's body electric. 

Come on baby, let's ride. 

It feels like an eternity later that you break and return to the corporeal, breathing again. 

Where did you go, my love?

Ben is still lain between your legs, his head resting on your lower abdomen. You realize your fingers are still tangled in his hair and that your other hand is holding his hand on the bed by your hip, fingers interlocked. The moment is beautiful and forever imprinted in your memory. 

Ben's time is now. 

He's stirred from the euphoria of your scent, your taste and the vision of making you come when he feels your fingers scratch gently across his scalp. There's a pull on his hand and he knows his time is now. Disentangling his fingers, he dips his head and extends one last sweet kiss to your sensitive flesh before moving back up and over you. His face is smiling, mouth still wet as you rise up to meet his lips, tasting yourself on his tongue. 

You pull him closer, bodies aligned, his chest easing down to cover and crush your breasts. His stomach is flush against yours and the throbbing hardness of him is sliding between your slick folds. It's obvious, the ache and burn you have for one another. 

It's obvious. 

Ben holds you in a stormy gaze as he fills you slowly, inch by inch, giving your body time to accommodate his size. You can feel him pulse inside you as he lowers his forehead to rest against yours, hot breath intermingling. With a look of utter devotion, he whispers a breathless "I love you", then he's moving, deeply, slowly, within you. Making love with you.

You kiss his lips, tracing his Cupid's bow with your tongue. You kiss his nose and cheekbones. You kiss his neck and shoulders above you before he sets about re-exploring your shoulders and breasts with his lips. The feel of his skin on your skin is drugging. Kissing his neck again, you run your hands over his shoulders, down the expanse of his back, past his lean hips to his perfect ass. You touch him everywhere. 

I would have you. 

You revel in the movement of his thrusts, of the way he feels inside you. You're bursting with lust, with love. Enamored with the push and pull friction of him retreating almost fully out of you just to fill you up again. There is such poignancy in the pleasure of your coupling. The weight of him, the scent of him, the surety of him. 

The everything of him.  
Is breathtaking.  
Exquisite. 

Ben's unraveling is gorgeous as the gentleness of him begins to fray. His hands become more possessive, kisses more fevered, thrusts more powerful. You meet him measure for measure, lifting your hips to collide with his own. You give it back to him as he fucks you, harder now, rocking you to move with him. You drown in his penetration, in his "goddamn, baby!" and hissing "yes, just like that." You drown in the sensation of the dominating strokes of his cock stretching you, driving into you again and again. He's enraptured as he moves his hand down between your bodies to work you up faster. 

Ben is in rapture. 

His eyes wide shut, a violent ticking in his jaw, labored breathing- all the tell tale signs that Batch is close to coming. He looks explosive to you, a time bomb, a dark beauty now with an almost sinister quality to him. His eyes have darkened, blown out to almost full black now and it's the sexiest fucking thing and you're so close. 

No matter where you go.  
There you are!  
You're there. 

Propelled out into another chasm of mindless oblivion as your earth tilts and Ben rocks you. You're gasping his name, no shouting it, screaming it half into his mouth as he silences you with the onslaught of a frenzied kiss. It's madness, complete chaos as you ride out your orgasm, convulsing around him in shattering waves of pleasure.

Then he's there. 

Clutching your body as he releases inside you. Guttural moans rising up from deep in his chest and throat to fill the room and echo off the walls. He shudders at the gratification of it all, at the brilliance of it all, then he's momentarily fading to black in an exhaustive collapse on top of you. 

And into the big sleep. 

A long moment later, you let out a shaky sigh as Ben kisses you, then he eases up to slowly withdraw. He positions himself by your side, nestling into your body with his own, laying a heavy arm draped across your body. He lazily brushes his fingers along your skin, where his hand rests at your waist. 

He's very close now.  
Not just in the physical.  
Emotionally, he's attached. 

The room is dark, night having descended and here again, the silence. Yet, the storm outside continues to rage on, unfaltering and persistent, steady and sure. The windstorm beyond the shelter of these bedroom walls mirror the persistency with which you vow silently within your heart to forever love the man beside you. 

I need to hide within the storm, so have the lightning come and bring the winds that scream and spill the fog all over town.

And how could you know that within him too, at that very moment, he was crossing his own heart to forever love you? 

Ben is found.


End file.
